{"id":1332,"date":"2013-02-20T15:41:16","date_gmt":"2013-02-20T15:41:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=807"},"modified":"2017-08-26T15:26:28","modified_gmt":"2017-08-26T19:26:28","slug":"of-shame-and-grace-sermon-by-aldred-neufeldt-february-17-2013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/?p=1332","title":{"rendered":"Of shame and grace – sermon by Aldred Neufeldt – February 17, 2013"},"content":{"rendered":"

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View Archived Sermons<\/span>
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Listen to this Sermon<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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First Sunday of Lent
<\/span>February 17, 2013<\/h3>\n

Of Shame and Grace<\/span><\/h3>\n

by Aldred H. Neufeldt<\/span><\/h3>\n
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Texts: Luke 4:1-13; Psalm 91:1-2, 9-16; Deuteronomy 26:1-11<\/span><\/div>\n

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Let me begin with a confession. It\u2019s about my initial reaction to this year\u2019s Lenten theme \u2013 Ashamed no more. \u00a0I was positive on the idea that we explore our experience with feelings of shame and how that influences our relationship with God. \u00a0What I wasn\u2019t so happy about was the way in which the words \u2018shame\u2019 and \u2018guilt\u2019 were used in resource material. \u00a0I get cranky when generalizations are proposed as truth with little attention to research showing a more complex picture. \u00a0And so, at our preaching team meeting when we discussed the material, I expressed my view. \u00a0Truth be told, it was a rant.<\/span><\/div>\n

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We have had a generation of pop psychologists, I said, and counsellors, who seek publicity on television and in books and workshops by arguing that \u2018guilt\u2019 and \u2018shame\u2019 are terrible emotions \u2013 that a life without feelings of guilt and shame is best \u2013 and many of us have come to believe them. Yes, feelings of guilt and shame can be painful and unhealthy, but they ignore the evidence that both kinds of feeling are also healthy and important. There is the good not just the bad. Guilt is a response of healthy people who realize they\u2019ve done something wrong. \u00a0It helps us act more responsibly. \u00a0Who do we know of that seems to have banished guilt? \u00a0The Mafia, that\u2019s who. They supposedly don\u2019t feel guilt in shaking people down or murdering them. They\u2019re said to have a \u2018shame-based\u2019 culture. \u00a0But, what does research tell us about shame-based cultures? \u00a0Cultural anthropologists report many folk in such societies feel shame only when caught doing something wrong. \u00a0If you\u2019re not caught, there\u2019s no shame. \u00a0 So, who benefits from telling people guilt and shame should be banished? \u00a0Those selling the argument, that\u2019s who. It\u2019s like they\u2019re saying \u2013 \u2018get rid of pain receptors in fingers so that children don\u2019t feel pain when they touch a hot stove\u2019. \u00a0Is that what we want?<\/span><\/div>\n

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That was the essence of my rant. <\/span><\/div>\n

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As it happens, I know the people who prepared the resource material. \u00a0They\u2019re good folk and, I\u2019m sure, would agree there is \u2018good shame\u2019 as well as \u2018bad\u2019 \u2013 they just didn\u2019t say it. <\/span><\/div>\n

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Good shame is learned early in life. It\u2019s important to a healthy home and a healthy society. \u00a0Every child needs to learn appropriate social behaviour so she or he can express passion in a way that is respectful of both self and others. \u00a0Healthy shame works to restrain behaviour not appropriate to a social setting. \u00a0It\u2019s about the person\u2019s behaviour, not the person, and such shame quickly passes. \u00a0But, if shame becomes personalized, and someone comes to feel he or she is unworthy and terrible, that\u2019s unhealthy and bad and needs to be addressed. \u00a0It\u2019s likely to continue on unless forgiveness of self and other is sought and given. \u00a0Those seem universal findings.<\/span><\/div>\n

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To be fair, the resource material is a bit more nuanced than my rant suggests. It recognizes that \u2018guilt\u2019 and \u2018shame\u2019 are seen differently in the Middle Eastern society than in contemporary North America, though not much is made of such cultural differences when it could have been useful. Not recognized at all is that these cultural differences also affect how we read and understand the scriptures. This is important, and I\u2019ll return to it later.<\/span><\/div>\n

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With that out of the way, let\u2019s turn to the positives of the theme. \u00a0It\u2019s essential importance is to say that it matters how we feel about ourselves \u2013 it matters because if we live with uhealthy feelings of guilt and shame that, in turn, affects how we relate to God. \u00a0And what better time than Lent, the six weeks when we orient ourselves to the most important event in the church year \u2013 Easter \u2013 to reflect on this relationship? \u00a0Lent is a time when we can think on strengthening our relationship with God \u2013 and are reminded all over again of God\u2019s awsome capacity for extending grace to a troubled people. <\/span><\/div>\n

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Today\u2019s scripture texts all speak to this.<\/span><\/div>\n

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In Deuteronomy 26 we read a story full of joy. \u00a0It\u2019s a story that celebrates God\u2019s grace shown in the past. \u00a0After 40 years in the wilderness God gave the Israelites a land flowing with milk and honey. \u00a0In remembrance of that care, the people of Israel offer the first fruits of each harvest to God as a reminder that they owe their life and allegiance to Him. \u00a0The Lenten question of us is: To what or whom do I owe my ultimate loyalty and allegiance? \u00a0Who or what receives my \u2018first fruits\u2019, the first or best part of my time, my skills, my material goods? <\/span><\/div>\n

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Psalm 91 too is a joyful expression of God\u2019s grace \u2013 of the trust we can have in Him. \u00a0The psalmist speaks of dwelling in the shelter of the Most High \u2013 what a beautiful image. \u00a0We are held fast by love, no matter what the circumstance. \u00a0It\u2019s a Psalm that many people in old age love. \u00a0I\u2019ve heard countless stories of our people who lived through the Russian revolution or who survived other wars and chaos. \u00a0They\u2019ve immigrated to Canada with the clothes on their back and little else \u2013 and, towards the end of life, remembering the difficulties endured, they are deeply aware of God\u2019s presence in past and present. \u00a0Without God, how could they have survived, they wonder. \u00a0The Lenten question to us is: In whom do I put my trust? \u00a0What provides solid ground to stand on without which I would not feel safe or whole?<\/span><\/div>\n

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Then there is the reading from Luke. \u00a0It\u2019s particularly striking. \u00a0It portrays Jesus confessing his faith as a response to temptation. \u00a0Just before coming to the wilderness Jesus was baptized by John in that momentous scene in the Jordan River. \u00a0Led by the Spirit he arrives in the wilderness with the words of God still ringing in his ears: \u201cYou are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well-pleased\u201d (Luke 3:22b). \u00a0The tempter picks up on this immediately. \u201cIf you are the Son of God,\u201d he suggests, \u201ccommand these stones to become loaves of bread and feed yourself \u2026 worship me and receive all the kingdoms of the world \u2026 throw yourself down from here and see if the angels catch you.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

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These temptations are interesting in themselves. \u00a0On the one hand, they are quite dramatic. \u00a0On the other, they see
\nm very human \u2013 one about serving oneself, one about wealth and power, one about being at the centre of a dramatic spectacle. <\/span><\/div>\n

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Would it have been so wrong if Jesus just turned a few stones to bread? Certainly there\u2019s no sin in that, is there? What is Luke really telling us? Perhaps, that we might be tempted to want to manipulate the world to our liking. \u00a0Something like that can grow into serious sin \u2013 for example, of not caring where our food comes from, or the environment from which it grew. Do we care enough about those who grow the food we eventually buy in our stores to make deliberate choices about where we shop?<\/span><\/div>\n

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What about making a pact with Satan in return for the wealth and power of the world? \u00a0Think of all the good one might do with wealth and power at our disposal. \u00a0Again, Jesus rejects this because it places wealth before God. \u00a0The question for us is similar. What in our lifestyles comes before our consideration of God? \u00a0If we\u2019re honest, many things can draw our eyes away from God \u2013 things that in and of themselves are not bad, but might fester until we see nothing else.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Jesus rejects each temptation in turn, in each instant drawing on the scriptures to show how wrong headed the tempter is \u2013 and speaking to the grace that God makes available.<\/span><\/div>\n

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It\u2019s curious, isn\u2019t it, that this episode on Jesus temptations occurs at the beginning of Lent? \u00a0Why reference the beginning of Jesus\u2019 ministry just before the passion \u2013 the end? \u00a0It\u2019s a question addressed by John Milton in his epic poem, Paradise Regained. \u00a0In Paradise Lost Milton explores with deep poetic insight the Fall of humankind, beginning in the Garden of Eden, and how a strong minded people keep distorting God\u2019s vision. \u00a0In Paradise Regained Milton speaks to ultimate grace \u2013 he explores not the birth, crucifixtion or resurrection of Jesus, but his temptation. \u00a0What Milton saw is that in resisting Satan\u2019s temptations Jesus initiated the possibility for humanity to regain the paradise lost in Eden\u2019s fall. \u00a0These temptations at the very beginning of Jesus ministry inevitably led to the events at Easter and the final test between essential goodness and evil that bridged the gap between a perfect God and a fatally flawed humanity \u2013 paradise regained \u2013 ultimate grace.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Milton puts into perspective the question of why our experience with shame and guilt could be a feature of a Lenten series. \u00a0Emotions of shame and guilt have been with us since the fall \u2013 remember how Adam and Eve covered themselves after having disobeyed God. \u00a0Lent invites us to think about becoming reconciled with God. \u00a0More than that, Lent reminds us that others before us have also had reason to feel guilt and shame, and needed to be reconciled with God. \u00a0Think on the disciple Peter who three times said he didn\u2019t know Jesus, but later became the \u2018rock\u2019 on which the church was built. \u00a0Consider the Apostle Paul who severely persecuted early Christians, only to become one of it\u2019s best advocates. \u00a0These and others model how the importance of forgiveness and regeneration in our relationship with God.<\/span><\/div>\n

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But, what\u2019s interesting, it wasn\u2019t as if they did it on their own. Earlier I mentioned that the way in which scripture is understood is different in Asia Minor than in North America. \u00a0We read the scriptures from our individualistic mindsets. \u00a0In the Middle East, it\u2019s from a collective more communal perspective. \u00a0From an individual perspective, addressing issues of shame and guilt seems daunting, as does keeping our relationships with God healthy. \u00a0But, if we can view our experiences with shame and guilt \u2013 many arising from the kinds of temptations mentioned \u2013 if we can view these from a communal perspective \u2013 as inviting us to bear up one another \u2013 then the challenges become lighter. \u00a0 Viewing today\u2019s readings, and the questions they raise for us, as directed to us as a church community rather than as individual people suggests that God\u2019s love is for the people and God wants us as a community of believers to be involved in rescuing, protecting, honoring & celebrating those who love God. There is a relationship at stake here. It isn\u2019t simply a matter of me being right with God. It is a matter of us together being right with God.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Then there are the bigger questions that come to mind particularly during Lent \u2013 at least for me \u2013 questions that are even sharper when one carries unhealthy shame. One is on the nature of God. \u00a0Just what is this God in which we have faith and who extends grace? \u00a0Philip Yancy struggled with that question in his book The Jesus I Never Knew. \u00a0His observations are helpful. \u00a0Yancy notes that descriptions of God almost always focus on what he is not: God is immortal, invisible, infinite \u2013 all framed in the negative. \u00a0But what is God like, positively? \u00a0The more he questioned himself on positive features God might have, the more he came to the conclusion that the characteristics he was looking for were represented in the image of Jesus gained from reading the Gospels. Jesus presents a God with skin on, whom we can take or leave, love or ignore. \u00a0In this visible, scaled-down model we can discern God\u2019s features more clearly \u2013 brilliant, untamed, tender, creative, slippery, irreducible, paradoxically humble. <\/span><\/div>\n

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These are the kinds of characteristics that draw one. \u00a0They reflect a God offering \u2018radical grace\u2019 \u00a0even when we do something that we may be deeply ashamed of. \u00a0Jesus\u2019 primary interest never was with sin. \u00a0Instead his starting point was with human suffering at the place where unexpected and undeserved grace was given and received. Jesus was not stuck in systems of \u2018sin management\u2019, as the priests of his time were, as were circuit evangelists of some years ago or TV evangelists today, maybe even the pop psychologists who have their own lists of sins they propose to help us manage.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Finally, and perhaps the biggest question that raises its head for me during Lent is, how can I believe there is a Creator bigger than ourselves? \u00a0The whole Lenten season is premised on this \u2013 the crucifiction on the cross where Jesus took the sins of humanity on himself, the risen Christ on Easter, the ascension. \u00a0 That\u2019s an awsome God; but it\u2019s a view difficult for many to embrace. \u00a0Henri Nouwen \u00a0tells a story speaking to this, on which I\u2019ll close. It\u2019s a story of a conversation between twins in their mother\u2019s womb. <\/span><\/div>\n

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The sister said to the brother, \u201cI believe there is life after birth.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

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Her brother protested vehemently, \u201cNo, no this is all there is. \u00a0This is a dark and cozy place, and we have nothing else to do but cling to the cord that feeds us.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

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The little girl insisted, \u201cThere must be something more than this dark place. \u00a0There must be something else, a place with light where there is freedom to move.\u201d \u00a0Still she could not convince her twin brother. \u00a0After some silenc
\ne, the sister said hesitantly, \u201cI have something else to say, and I\u2019m afraid you won\u2019t believe that either, but I think there is a mother.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

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Her brother became furious, \u201cA mother,\u201d he shouted. What are you talking about? \u00a0I have never seen a mother, and neither have you. \u00a0Who put that idea in your head? \u00a0As I told you, this place is all we have.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

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\u201cDon\u2019t you feel the squeezes every once in a while? \u00a0They\u2019re quite unpleasant and sometimes even painful. \u00a0I think these squeezes are there to get us ready for another place, much more beautiful than this, where we will see our mother\u2019s face. \u00a0Don\u2019t you think that\u2019s exciting?\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

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Nouwen concludes that we can live as though this life is all we have and the thought of life after death is absurd, and we shouldn\u2019t take time to even think about it. \u00a0Or, we can agree with the sister in the story that there must be a Creator, greater than ourselves. <\/span><\/div>\n

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To that I\u2019d add, if we accept the latter, then we have an awsome reason to pay attention to the disharmonies in our lives, the things that contribute to our feelings of unhealthy guilt and shame, and to seek the warm embrace of God in the context of our community of believers \u2013 if we can do that, we open ourselves to one of the most powerful expressions of God\u2019s grace one can experience.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
Amen<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 View Archived Sermons Listen to this Sermon \u00a0 First Sunday of LentFebruary 17, 2013 Of Shame and Grace by Aldred H. Neufeldt Texts: Luke 4:1-13; Psalm 91:1-2, 9-16; Deuteronomy 26:1-11 Let me begin with a confession. It\u2019s about my initial reaction to this year\u2019s Lenten theme \u2013 Ashamed no more. \u00a0I was positive on the idea that we explore our experience with feelings of shame and how that influences our relationship with God. \u00a0What I wasn\u2019t so happy about…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons-a-worship-audio"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1332"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1332\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3921,"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1332\/revisions\/3921"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tumc.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}